“My Monkey brings all the boys to the yard
And they’re like,
My HIM is better than yours
Damn right, he’s better than yours
OK… so sometimes all mommy’s want to strangle the papa’s… It is either our hormones, or the fact that no matter how wonderful Papa is… Mommy is always bundled with the brunt of the workload. (Even my HIM, who is “better than yours” 🙂 says that he knows that I carry 90% of the job).
The thing is – it isn’t only about the child raising essentials… the feeding, nappy changes, cuddles and bathing. There is the time preparing the food, bottles, bath; the tidying up afterwards – packing toys away, cleaning the baby bowls and high chair; drying the bottles and prepping for the early morning feed; hanging up wet towels and cleaning out the baby bath; then the general well-being of the household – cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping (did I mention washing – how is it possible that there is a load of washing to do and pack away every single night????). Plus the time spent with your Monkey – actually engaging in playtime, reading, etc – or at least watching them closely while they play by themselves to ensure that they don’t swallow anything that they shouldn’t (especially since most 8month olds I have encountered are just like my Monkey… and they need to put everything in their mouth!) Oh and work a full time job; take care of personal hygiene and try to be sociable.
Now most partners are super awesome about sharing the load (notice how I didn’t say *helping out* because it isn’t a help if you live there too 😉 ) … and as we just celebrated our 1st Fathers Day in Belgium (12th June 2016) – I figured that this was a perfect tribute to HIM.
But before I continue – I need to remind you that we have a somewhat unique situation – as I work 8am-5pm and he works 6pm-midnight (and sometimes later) during the week, so we don’t have the conventional situation where both parents are at home together in the evening. But we love our weekends together – pure quality time!
- Even though he only gets in at 1am… he is often the one that does the 4.30am nappy change & bottle giving. I have been known to move to the spare room with Monkey around 5am as we cuddle and attempt to snooze before the morning run starts (breakfast, shower, crèche drop-off)… normally because she wont go back to sleep after her 4.30am bottle (But she did sleep through the night recently – read here)
- He makes her baby food – as she is 8months old now – she has been testing out “solids” for the last 6-8weeks. He cooks up a pot of vegetable (and sometimes chicken) goodness for her, puree’s it and then puts it into individual containers for the fridge (and freezer) = enough to last 5 meals. So one less thing for me to think about.
- He fetches her from crèche at 12h30 every day and spends the afternoon with her – almost 5 straight hours… of course, she has an afternoon nap (while he says his prayers) – sometimes half an hour sometimes more than hour… and in some cases, getting her to take the nap is not easy. (“I am sooooo tired… I don’t want to sleep” thrashing about on the bed) – but 5 straight hours… by himself? “Damn right, he’s better than yours”
- He makes short video’s of her or takes photographs and sends them to our family WhatsApp group – so that we all get to experience the laughter and movements and funny faces that happen during the day! Multiple times a week… which is heaven to receive when I am sitting in an office all day. And my parents in South Africa really appreciate as well.
- Dishes… I hate doing dishes… if I can, I would run the dishwasher just for 1 plate. But since Monkey arrived – a day has not gone by that I haven’t washed a stack of dishes (and her bottles) – plus there is always more a while later – oh the joys of cooking and eating 🙂 But thankfully, HIM is under the impression that we made the agreement that if I cook, he washes up. I don’t remember this agreement – but I wont argue with it 🙂
- ONE & Dr visits – he does them all, by himself with Monkey! Unless it is something serious – he is the daddy sitting at the clinic with little Monkey waiting to see the pediatrician for her monthly check up and/or vaccinations!
And then of course – the general stuff that he did before she made her grand entrance into our lives and home – taking out the garbage, bringing in the post, taking the bottle recycling out, rubs my shoulders (pretty much every day for 5-10minutes), sharing cooking dinner duties
Nothing in life is ever 50/50 – but I just needed you to know that I am not alone in this Monkey business.. but rather, that I am blessed to have a wonderful supportive loving partner to share these adventures with! And a obviously to share the sleepless nights with too!